^*^ The Fiver | A quick guide to football #hashtags on the social media disgraces

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How do you do, fellow kids? Now, The Fiver knows all about #hashtags on the social media disgraces but not everyone is quite as savvy as your much-loved tea-timely missive, so here’s a quick guide for the uninitiated: #scenes means someone has scored a goal, #awaydays is fairly self-explanatory and usually accompanied by a photo of a four-pack of Tin on a 10am train, and when people talk about #limbs they’re usually referring to the variety of flailing appendages in the stands [oh, behave – Carry on Ed] as fans cavort in wild celebration.

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